20 Least Appealing Story Titles of All Time!

I write an article for Medium.com about once a week. Believe it or not, I actually get paid for each article I write. How much I get paid depends on some indecipherable algorithm that I can’t begin to figure out. Sometimes 400 people will read an article and I’ll get paid several hundred dollars. Other times I’ll attract 6,000 readers and get paid $14.35.

I think it’s based, in-part, on where the readers come from (i.e various social media sites) and in part based on a secret agreement between George Soros, the Deep State, the illuminati and…well, just spend a few weeks reading QAnon tweets. That will explain it all to you…and MORE!

Given that this is back-waxing money for me, along with the licensing of pictures of me for annual Firefighters “beefcake” calendars, I am incentivised to come up with article titles designed to entice casual viewers to stop and read. Thus, it is probably a good idea to design the titles to correspond to the actual subject of the article. However, my craving for readers has sometimes led me to violate this rule. For example, my article on the history of the Federal Reserve was titled “Where To Get Free Cocaine!”.

Recently however, I’ve begun to doubt the effectiveness of this title-based marketing strategy. That’s because I’ve seen articles written by other people who aren’t me, do very…