The One Question Religions Have Never Been Able To Answer

There are about 4,000 known religions practiced on our planet, and an appallingly low number of them consider me to be a deity. And that’s not the only thing they have in common.

One obviously commonality of all religions is their belief in and worship of a supernatural entity or entities with amazing powers, the sort of powers that most 6 year-olds dream of. They can fly, they can live forever, they can just decree that their favorite teams win the championship.

Most appealing to 6 year-olds and me personally (the Venn Diagram overlaps almost completely), is the ability to smite their enemies. I’d give anything for that power, and I’d be smiting like nobody’s business. In fact, it’s even possible that you yourself would wind up smote. So watch it.

In fact, most believers think that their particular deity’s powers are unlimited and perpetual. Their God or Gods can know and do literally everything. And apparently, they take this ability very seriously. For example, they can number the hairs on each of our heads, My number is 11. They know, and keep track of each and every thought thunk by each and every thinker in the world at all times, and they hold us accountable for every one of them. I’m still probably being held to account for the thoughts I had about Ms. Barna, my stunningly gorgeous 7th…