The Opportunity Ukraine Offers Us

The results of My Ancestry.com test (*not an endorsement, unless they pay me, in which case they are awesome!) revealed that I am 1% Neanderthal, which explains a lot about my table manners. I am apparently also a few percent viking. This reveals why I’m also part Finish, Norwegian, Swiss, and Scottish. The Vikings really got around, what with all of their pillaging and what not.

But the nationality which gave me the large plurality of my DNA was Ukraine. I am 38% Ukrainian. And it was a Ukrainian name my maternal great grandfather brought to America. When he arrived at Ellis Island, he bore the last name “Bitel”. When he approached the intake officer, he had the following conversation.

“What is your name?”

“Bitel”

“OK. It’s Botel then, go pick up your schmatas’’.

From that moment on, my paternal side was the Botels. There were a number of well-known Botels in the Philadelphia area over the years, and like many families, we had some colorful members. We had leaders at major institutions of higher education, we had prominent businessmen, my Uncle briefly owned Pat’s Steaks in South Philly, and we had the cousin who chased another cousin down South Street waving an axe. We are also the only Botels. So if you meet any Botel, they are related to me. Tell them they really should invite me…